Fear.
What do you understand about fear?
Fear to me is like diving deep into an unknown world,
a space so close, yet unfamiliar.
A string of events have taken place lately. I went to Perhentian, came back, registered as an MA student, and started searching for a suitable job like crazy. Life cannot get more challenging than what I am facing now! The new semester will start this coming Thursday and I doubt that I will get any job at all. The feeling is like a shift from childhood to adulthood overnight. Everything is so vague. My future seems so bleak...
I still remember the moment I jumped down a pier at Perhentian early in the morning. It was so dark and all around me, a gigantic group of fishes were swimming and starring at me as if I had invaded their territory. On one hand, the scene was picturesque. On the other hand, it was intimidating. What if the fishes attacked me? What if there was something hidden under the wrecks found there, deep in the water? Everything was so beautiful and amazing, but there was a fear inside of me to reach out for anything.
Just like my fear for what's buried deep in the ocean, I have strong fear of the unseen before me. What will happen to me in weeks to come? and months, and years? Sometimes, I am so overshadowed by worries and fears that I unconciously forget to place everything in God's hands so that He can provide for me. I always remind others not to worry about tomorrow, but I rarely live up to my words.
What can I say about fear? What can you say about fear?
=yingoying=
3 comments:
As all of you know, I have fear of heights and also deep sea! And I insisted that I want to go snorkeling during my stay in Perhentian. Nevertheless, when it was time to jump into the sea, I chicken out! My sis and friends where like, JUMP! And I jumped in! When I first took a look at the corals, I FREAKED OUT! I went back to the boat. It was deep, dark and looked like something in a Alien invasion kind of movie! I feared. Then I told myself, it's now or never. Sync or swim, do or regret for the rest of your life! And I am thankful I jumped back into the water again. Tho' it took quite sometime for me to adjust with my mind about the fear i have towards deep sea, I am glad I didn't chicken out on my decision! We all fear Ying, it's natural! But if one doesn't take any action towards that fear, it's going to eat one up silently and before you know it, one settles comfortable in their "comfort zones"... No way we are doing that, aren't we? :)
Conclusion is this,
1. Leave everything to Him.
2. Take the dive!
3. I am so going to get my PADI diving license! Haha!
Anyway, we are in this together aye! :P
angel, in what together? fighting the fear or getting padi diving licence? hahahaa. hopefully both!
ying, create a chatbox ler...
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