Monday, December 07, 2009

When everything's working out too well..



What do you do when everything's working out too well for you? Exactly... nothing. For approximately two weeks, almost everything is going smoothly for me-- I'm having my break and having so much fun that I've accomplished almost nothing. One would say that it's not a bad thing because rest and relaxation is a necessity in this time of absolute unrest, but what if my creative mind has stopped functioning in the midst of this solitude? I've taken one month off to come up with something fruitful, but I don't even sense that that will happen any time soon. This act of lying dormant in a world of nothingness is really sapping every drop of energy within me. Rest but unrest. Ironic eh?


=yingoying=

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Amazingly, I'm ok.


I was KO.

Now, I'm OK.

I don't know how long I will stay OK.

But, thanks for praying that I am not KO.

=yingoying=

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Sickness..


What do you do when you can't walk or sit without feeling an indescribable pain?

=yingoying=

Ipoh mari!


Ipoh, here I come! It has been ages since I've last traveled anywhere (ok. not true. I just went to Kuantan about 2 weeks or so ago?), so I decided to join my parents to Ipoh tomorrow til Monday. Ipoh, as you most probably know, is smacked right in the centre of peninsular Malaysia. Almost. :) Two things I like about Ipoh:

1. The bean sprout chicken rice (nga choy kai)
2. The many white-washed colonial buildings in the city

Well, to tell the truth, there's nothing that special about Ipoh's chicken rice. It's like any other chicken rice in Malaysia. The special thing about it is its trademark. :) As for the buildings, there are nothing special about them either. It's just that, I felt a sense of appreciation whenever I looked at em.

haha. Call me nuts, but I just love em! Happy holidays!


=yingoying=

Monday, July 20, 2009

Highly do not recommend Korean BBQ Chicken at Jaya One

sick to the max. Since I was going to have lunch alone today, I decided to have something nice and pricey. At first, I went to Wendy's at Jaya One. But the queue was rather long, so I decided to go somewhere else. I was walking and walking and came to this Korean BBQ Chicken opposite starbucks. I looked at the menu, it's a bit pricey, but it is said to be the No1 BBQ Chicken chain or something like that in Korea. So I thought, well, just give it a try. I went in, found a table and sat down. On my laptop and tried to get connected to the net. No connection. ok. -1 point. I sat there waiting for 5 mins and nobody came to give me the menu. So i waved at a waitress. She looked at me, and then looked away. Ok. I didn't know I look so pathetic that nobody wana serve me. Waved at another waitress. She asked me to wait and then brought me the menu. OK. I looked thru the menu and ordered a chicken drumstick with i-don't-know-what sauce and french fries. Wanted to place my order, but nobody wana come to take my order, til 5 mins later. ok. I was really pissed already at that time. The price is quite high, but this kinda service? Waited 15 mins with an empty stomach and longing for the food. At last, it arrived on the table 15 mins after. I started cutting the chicken and tasted it. Not bad. It tasted a little like the chicken they sell at pasar malam satay stalls. And it's rather smooth. So I thought, alright, I will forgive them for the bad service coz the food isn't bad. I ate half the chicken and started cutting up another slice. !@#$%^&*(). I was so busy eating I didn't notice the meat because it was all covered up with a dark brown sauce. OMG. The meat was pink in color and it was shiny! Yes, it's RAW. I ate half a raw drumstick and didn't realize it.... no wonder it was so smooth and shiny. the more i cut it, the shinier it became. I wiped away the sauce to have a better look at it. OMG. It is 100% raw! Out of my mind, i waved for a waitress. She came, and I told her bout it. She asked me to wait. 1,2,3...4..................5.....................6......................... 7mins.....she was gone for that long and didn't reappear. Then, suddenly, she appeared with a few bowls in her hands and started serving another table without looking at me! omg. -100 points. I was enraged. Took my handbag and laptop and walked to the counter. Found another waitress and complained about it to her. she asked me to go to my table and wait. another 3 mins sitting there looking at the raw food. Then she came. She said she will change my dish. I said no. i cannot eat chicken anymore. "Do you have fish? or anything more cooked?" (coz i saw they have fish fillet or something on their menu). She said, "No. We only have chicken.". What kinda waitress is that? She doesn't know what they have in their menu? I said ok. I don't wana eat anything anymore. Then she asked me want now? I was like excuse me, aren't u supposed to pay me just in case I get sick? But of course I didn't say that. Being an idiotic person, I said watever, I will pay but I don't wana eat anything anymore from here. She took the plate away and went to the counter. I followed her. I paid and then asked her where the manager is. She said the manager is very busy now. "Is there a complaint form?" . "No". "anyone else in charge i can complain to?". "You can complain to me". What the.... Then, I suddenly saw a guy with a name tag walking pass us. I asked her if he is the manager. "Yes". Ok. He wasn't doing anything. He was just walking. And I assume to malaysians, that's considered as being busy? pfft. So i was i wana talk to him. She called for him. I complained to him about everything, how i got the raw meat, complained about it but the waitress just walked away and all. Believe it or not, he didn't even smile to me or utter a "sorry". Ok. Nvm. I said just take note of that and don't repeat the same mistake. I told him that and walked out to the opposite starbucks to detox. After all the things i've been thru, I had to pay RM17.50. If I crave for a raw chicken so much, I could've bought a whole raw chicken for that price (and a fat one too!). Too bad I didn't have a camera with me, or else I would've snapped a picture of the raw meat and posted it everywhere. Please, I urge you...never ever go to that resto. Highly NOT recommended!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

=yingoying=

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Fear...


Fear.
What do you understand about fear?
Fear to me is like diving deep into an unknown world,
a space so close, yet unfamiliar.

A string of events have taken place lately. I went to Perhentian, came back, registered as an MA student, and started searching for a suitable job like crazy. Life cannot get more challenging than what I am facing now! The new semester will start this coming Thursday and I doubt that I will get any job at all. The feeling is like a shift from childhood to adulthood overnight. Everything is so vague. My future seems so bleak...

I still remember the moment I jumped down a pier at Perhentian early in the morning. It was so dark and all around me, a gigantic group of fishes were swimming and starring at me as if I had invaded their territory. On one hand, the scene was picturesque. On the other hand, it was intimidating. What if the fishes attacked me? What if there was something hidden under the wrecks found there, deep in the water? Everything was so beautiful and amazing, but there was a fear inside of me to reach out for anything.

Just like my fear for what's buried deep in the ocean, I have strong fear of the unseen before me. What will happen to me in weeks to come? and months, and years? Sometimes, I am so overshadowed by worries and fears that I unconciously forget to place everything in God's hands so that He can provide for me. I always remind others not to worry about tomorrow, but I rarely live up to my words.

What can I say about fear? What can you say about fear?

=yingoying=




Thursday, June 04, 2009

silence kills..


Silent treatment. Many times, we practice this on the people around us without knowing the greatness of its effect. We think of it as something casual, something cool when we feel upset and discouraged to enter into a conversation. Nothing is wrong with that. At least, nothing is wrong until the silent treatment makes a U-turn and befalls upon us. Unknowingly, it creeps up behind us and stabs us at the back when we least expect it. Like a murderer, it strangles us, suffocates us until there's nothing we could do anymore...until, there's no breath left in us..no will to go on..no lights to shine on our paths...no nothing..just pure silence. 

=yingoying-

What hurts the most....

is when you hurt someone so much you know things will just never be the same again no matter what anyone says. Peace out.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

It's been a few days after my last paper, but i'm still working like crazy. argh! Who would have thought that I am giving private tuition now? lol. it;s not exactly what I thought it would be. lotsa work, lotsa preperation to do, and lotsa unanswerable questions. argh. y did i sign myself up for this????



+yingoying+

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Heart or a Higher Calling?


What should I listen to? My heart? Or a higher calling? Sometimes, life is full of contradictions. Why can't everything be clear cut? Why must there be so many intersections in life? Why is my heart always whispering to me, telling to go against my conscience?

=yingoying=

Monday, March 30, 2009

Money or Dream?


Two days ago, I was chatting with a friend when he mentioned that most of the time, you have to give up your dream to earn money for a living. I kinda gave some thoughts to that issue for these few days. Somehow, it seems so true. Maybe it's true for many of you out there. .. It could be true for me as well.

I grew up believing that my dreams are never too far out of my reach. Honestly, they aren't so great. I want to become a teacher. An English Lit teacher. And I wana teach in African villages. Do something for the refugees, the children etc etc there. I wana have a farmhouse of my own, have a happy family living together with me there and doing God's will. Nothing too complicated for me. No gigantic mansions, private islands and jets, million of diamonds and those glorious things.

Now I'm starting to wonder. Maybe for someone like me who doesn't need to support anyone but herself, it's ok. But for someone who will need to support and feed a family, it might not be ok. If it is so, then life is truly unfair. How can I pursue my passion in literature when someone who has the same passion needs to sacrifice that dream to become a boring banker? Life is really full of oddities.

Think of it from this point of view. When you're 60, will u regret more if u have not shown your children the real values of life or if u have not gained enough money to send them to the best universities in the world? when you're 70, will u regret more if all your loved ones have left u to make more money or if you cannot save enough to buy a tiffany diamond ring for your wife?

=yingoying=

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Hooi Chin-Buci Bday celeb. Crazy nite!







Uncertainties...


It's been 2 days since the play ended. I am relieved of course. No more rehearsals, no more studying the play, no more thinking of the movements and etc etc. I am finally at peace and have time to do things I have wanted to do for such a long time. I even went to catch Confession of a Shopaholic Baby at cineleisure just now. It's awesome having such freedom to watch such an entertaining movie. But somehow, it feels rather odd. Suddenly, it seems like I'm so unused to the idea of not having to worry about who will turn up for the rehearsals, where to hold em', whether the props are done or not, our fund for the whole production and etc etc. The feeling is so similar to how a mother feels when she is about to let go of her precious child who has grown up and is ready to set off to see the world. That feeling of having to let go of everything I've worked so hard for...

I guess it's just human nature. When we have something, we do not appreciate it much. But when we don't possess it anymore, we long for it more. These few months have been really hard on me- lotsa precious time sacrificed, strength turned to weakness, tears shed unceasingly, multiple heart-breaks and disappointments. But on the other hand, I learned a whole lot more than what I've lost through this experience. And along the way, I've grown fond of so many extraordinary people whom I'll be missing from now on. So many precious memories, yet so little time to hold on to them...

What will happen to me in the coming months? I have no idea. What will I do during the short break after the semester ends? Something meaningful, I hope. Will I continue to pursue my dreams at UM for another 2 years or so? Or should I let go of everything and start an adventure which I have anticipated for such a long time? What exactly do I want? What exactly is wanted of me?

=yingoying=

Sunday, March 22, 2009

A brisk moment of letting go...

Yesterday, I went for an audition for a spot in the T4YP (Theater 4 Young People) at KLPAC. I prepared a 2min monologue from Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet and a shortpart of Scene 8 from Kuo Pao Kun's Descendant of the Eunuch Admiral for the audition. Mind you, I was well prepared. But the moment i stepped into the room and saw the grumpy faces of most of the judges, my mind blacked out. All my perfect shakespeare's lines just evaporated into thin air. It was a moment of pure humiliation. All the judges looked at me, impatiently waiting for me to go on, but I just gave up. But, the second piece, the contemporary piece was pretty ok. One of the judges said it's a good choice. Overall, it's an embarassing but interesting experience. One question asked by one of the judges stayed on my mind long after it was all over. Why are you here? i didn't really know the answer to that question. I mean, I was definitely there for the audition. Why else would I be there? For some reason after the audition, I realized that I might be there for a reason. All the while I was directing the production at uni, I kept on assuming that all the actors could memorize all their lines if they are determined enough, and there shouldn't be any problem for that. But after my moment of humiliation yesterday, I totally understood how it feels like acting out in front of a real audience. The moment you get up there, you will have to try hard to remember your lines and try to move in a way that will attract the audience. Furthermore, with the tensed atmosphere and sharp eyes looking at you, it's just impossible for you not to feel super duper nervous. Because of that sudden realization, I freaked out and decided to prettend that I could run away from the rest of the rehearsals and escape from everything. I even changed my FB status to "flee to singapore tomorrow" just to feel as if I could actually escape from everything. Yeppers. I was that desperate to flee. Just to feel that brisk moment of letting go is heaven...

But I deep inside that I can never just let go of everything. Even if I flee, I'll still worry about everything. What's the point of fleeing then? It will just be like Zheng He- a man with high status and everything money can buy, but no real freedom. I could flee to Bora-bora or just any deserted jungle in Africa, but my heart would still be here, worrying about every single thing of the play- how the lighting should be, when the music should start, whether all the props are there bla bla. But still, to fell that brisk moment of freedom...such pure ecstacy....

=yingoying=

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Updates on Descendants of the Eunuch Admiral

Interested to watch the play? call 012-3819101 for more info!








Thursday, March 12, 2009

Descendants of the Eunuch Admiral

The students of the Performance Strategy in the Western Theater of the University of Malaya will be presenting a play by Kuo Pao Kun titled Descendants of the Eunuch Admiral at Perdanasiswa, UM, on the 25th and 26th of March at 7pm. The same play will be staged on both days.

Descendants of the Eunuch Admiral tells the story of Zheng He or Cheng Ho, the famed Eunuch Admiral of the Ming dynasty. The play is a blend of little episodes of Zheng He's life and the true identity of a eunuch in the ancient China. Moving from Zheng He's castration to his attaining of fame, his adventures and explorations to his search for freedom, The Descendants of the Eunuch Admiral is a sophisticated, humorous, and thought-provoking work.

ATTN: Ideal for those searching for the missing parts of their lives.

Tickets sell at RM3 each. To obtain the tix, kindly contact 012-3819101 or email yingoying@gmail.com for more information. Get the tix ASAP before they are sold out and don't forget to invite your friends to tag along!

Dates: 25 and 26 March
Time: 7pm-9pm

Venue: Perdanasiswa, University of Malaya
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=University+of+Malaya%2C+Jalan+Universiti%2C+PJ%2C+Petaling+Jaya%2C+Malaysia (map to Uni of Malaya)
http://www.um.edu.my/discover_um/find_us/campus_map.php?intPrefLangID=1& (map to Perdanasiswa at UM)


Phone:
60123819101
Email: