Uncertainties...

It's been 2 days since the play ended. I am relieved of course. No more rehearsals, no more studying the play, no more thinking of the movements and etc etc. I am finally at peace and have time to do things I have wanted to do for such a long time. I even went to catch Confession of a Shopaholic Baby at cineleisure just now. It's awesome having such freedom to watch such an entertaining movie. But somehow, it feels rather odd. Suddenly, it seems like I'm so unused to the idea of not having to worry about who will turn up for the rehearsals, where to hold em', whether the props are done or not, our fund for the whole production and etc etc. The feeling is so similar to how a mother feels when she is about to let go of her precious child who has grown up and is ready to set off to see the world. That feeling of having to let go of everything I've worked so hard for...

I guess it's just human nature. When we have something, we do not appreciate it much. But when we don't possess it anymore, we long for it more. These few months have been really hard on me- lotsa precious time sacrificed, strength turned to weakness, tears shed unceasingly, multiple heart-breaks and disappointments. But on the other hand, I learned a whole lot more than what I've lost through this experience. And along the way, I've grown fond of so many extraordinary people whom I'll be missing from now on. So many precious memories, yet so little time to hold on to them...

What will happen to me in the coming months? I have no idea. What will I do during the short break after the semester ends? Something meaningful, I hope. Will I continue to pursue my dreams at UM for another 2 years or so? Or should I let go of everything and start an adventure which I have anticipated for such a long time? What exactly do I want? What exactly is wanted of me?

=yingoying=